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He's been seeing someone else!

Hi Caroline

Have tried to write this so many times already... I'll start at the beginning. I have always been proud of the happy family I seemed to have and this illusion was wonderful until it was shattered yesterday afternoon.

Anyway, my dad works away from home and only gets the chance to come home every other weekend and odd days off. He phoned home yesterday, as usual, but he sounded upset (my nana had been ill recently and i thought the worst) that is until I passed the phone over to my mum and I heard him say he's been seeing someone else!!! My Father!!! I have never been so upset in my life. My mother just stood there showing no emotion whatsoever!!! I couldn't stay in the house so I grabbed my coat and mobile and went to a friend's house. I spent the night there although I never slept.

I've always been a daddy's girl, I just couldn't understand how he could do this so this morning I rang him. He kept saying he was sorry and that he loved me and my brother but he just didn't love my mum anymore. "The love has gone" is what he said!!! How could it of???... they've been married for 21 years in November!!! He's been seeing this woman for 3 years... please help me... I don't know what to do!!! I feel like I'm going to die!!!

PLEASE

yours, gemma, aged 17

Gemma

You are at an age where these shocks are definitely going turn your world upside down.Your Parents have just obviously got to a stage in their lives, or your father has obviously got to a stage where he is bored with your Mum, horrid it sounds but he really hasn't fallen out of love with her, not by any means, he is just bored and has been attracted to another woman who is probably more fun, younger, than your mum is right now.

It sounds really horrid I know but most men go through this phase! and eventually end up back at home with their families. Because they get bored again! and miss their families too much! Its just something that happens really and you have to ride the storm I'm afraid, you must tell your mum you love her and that your dad doesn't know what he's doing, tell her to go and find a younger sexier, fun man herself, and when word gets around that she is seeing someone your father will probably get envious that another man would find your mum attractive and turn on his heels and come back.

They don't all come back but it might work!!! If it doesn't then you will have to carry on with your lives as best you can supporting your mum and remembering that she will be very vulnerable at the moment so give her as much TLC as you can without going overboard, take her shopping and get her to try on new outfits, new make up time for a makeover for her, tell her to go out and enjoy herself too!!!!! lives go on you know no matter what happens around you, take a deep breath, hold your head up and give your mum your support.

As for your Father, well it's up to you how you treat him, he still loves you and your Brother, so don't push him away for that, find out from him what went wrong, your old enough to ask and deserve an honest reply, he owes you that! You can then weigh up the problem and see how you feel about it. And you really must tell him how you feel, cry if you have to, go with your feelings, he has to know he not only hurt your Mum but you too. It sounds hard work, but at least you'll find out why it happened instead of wondering.

And remember there's two sides to every story.

R

Caroline