Easy as A,B,C!
Hello Caroline,
This problem has been plaging me for a long time. It all started in Feb when a new colleague, B joined my workplace in France. Then, i was going out with A for a year and he was just transferred to the States when B arrived.
Soon, B and I became closer as we work in the same dept. I enjoyed his company tremendously...and many people noticed that he had feelings for me. As he never told me, i pretended as though i didn't know.
Two months later, A invited me to visit him in the US and thus i went for a 2-week vacation. When i came back, B confessed that he was feeling miserable after i left and told me that he likes me. I felt lost and at the same time i also grew a liking for B as i was undergoing some problems with A. I felt that B understood me better and we get along really great! I love A but somehow, he never understood me as well.
Unawarely, i started two-timing the both of them. I didn't dare to tell A as i know how much i meant to him but i couldn't bear to let B go. I know, i was being very selfish. Things got out of hand when i finally told A that i was with B. A got furious and urged me to quit my job and join him in the States. Meanwhile, B had asked me 3 times to be his steady girlfriend and i don't know why, i turned him down each time, explaining to him that things have gone too fast and i need more time to think things over.
I was in the dark when A came knocking on my door as he flew back with an extra ticket for me. B was so depressed he flew back to his home country for a holiday soon after. He thought that i had asked A to return. Before B left, he too, had left me a flight ticket to look for him. What was i to do? I had two tickets in my hand and i couldn't decide.
After much persuasion from A, i chose to follow him to the US and resigned from my job. I apologised to B but he was very disappointed and accused me of lying to him. After that, i still couldn't get B out of my mind and after 2 months of suffering, i chose to return to my home country(which is the same as B's) and look for a job. B has gone back to France and so i called him up telling him the good news...that i am home.
Well,B didn't sound the same as before, and told me that he had found someone new. The new girl has been his confidante throughout his turmoil and soon, he realised that she had liked him for a long time.
As the saying goes, "It's better to be loved than to love". Please help me. Should I leave B alone or tell him boldly that i still have feelings for him. I cannot rest till i settle this problem as I've been losing sleep over this for a few weeks now. What should i do?
Fickle girl
Dear Fickle Girl!!!
Stop playing games with these two!!!! either choose one or lose them both!!! Find out within your feelings who gives you the most pleasure, i.e you feel comfortable with him, feel excited by him, think about him all the time, like to be in his company, choose him, if you feel the same about B, choose him, stop torturing yourself because that's what you are doing!!!!! and not to mention them!!! It really is make your mind up time girl. Go with your feelings its what really matters in the end, that's what I would do.
You owe it to yourself to be happy and in love, you sound pretty well educated enough to decide you just need a push!!!
DO IT.
Regards,
Caroline.