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I heard rumors (don't believe them!)

Dear Caroline,

Please help me. Around 1 year ago, I got into a fight with my friend. I kind of blamed her for my eating disorder and for just some reason, couldn't face her. I am quite a self confident person, but for some reason, I just couldn't talk to her or look her in the eye- I was rapidly loosing all of my friends who did not know about my eating disorder and who thought I was completely pathetic- I then attempted suicide. I then made up with her 5 months later, but it didn't last until she started asking me about the past.

I couldn't handle it and the whole thing returned again. Please help me because now I haven't talked to her for 7 months and I heard rumors that after half term, she is going to go to the head mistress who will call my parents.

I want to run away from home but I know that it is not the answer. Please help me soon.

Love C.

Dear Londoner,

Firstly let me tell you how brave you are in telling me about your condition. As at the moment the only ones who know, are you, and this 'friend'. Now someone else knows, that's good it's the first step to recovery, believe me.

This 'friend' has no control over you, YOU have control, you belong to you, and you make your own decisions about your life and it's a very precious thing to have. You're only thirteen, young and have a lot to live for, live life for you.

The next step is to tell your mum everything and tell her what you've told me, she's the one who will help you and can help you. I'm sure she will. Don't feel silly, or bad about telling her, she loves you, she's your mum. If you can't tell your mum, go the your local doctors surgery, and ask for an appointment to see the doctor, or practice nurse there.

I have had personal experience of someone dear to me commiting suicede and believe me, the pain and suffering it leaves behind is unbelievable. It always leave you thinking if only I'd done this, or If only I'd done that... If only! There is so much more to life than current pain you feel, but your cry for help has to be heard. Share your pain, let people love you. Don't be afraid of what people say 'It's only words'. Time 'IS' a great heeler. Think of what the future can bring, one day you will be a grandmar and able to spoil your grand children. The future is not set, You make your future and I mean it with all my love.

You must explain how the disorder affects you and ask for help they are the professionals and should either make an appointment to see someone or give you some information, take your mum with you for moral support and then you wont have to worry about this threat your 'friend' has made against you, rumours and all, you're doing something about it yourself, letting people know you want to get help, that's a very brave thing to do, call her bluff NOW.

That way if your teachers do find out, your mum already knows anyway, that's your bonus, and you'll be one up on this 'friend'.

If you don't want to see someone face to face yet, here are some numbers and names and addresses for you to ring/write to:-

The Maisner Centre for Eating Disorders
P.O. BOX 464
Hove, E. Sussex
BN3 2BN

OR

RING CHILDLINE ON 0800 1111 (IT'S A FREE TEL. NUMBER AND WILL NOT COST YOU ANYTHING)

The counsellors on that line are fully trained for children, and teenagers problems, they can give you more numbers to ring and give lots of information

And remember there is someone out there that can help you, but you must contact them, I've given you all the info possible, You've just jumped a big hurdle contacting me,

now it's time to walk tall.

Lots of luck and best wishes, keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Love Caroline.